I am awake. I am alive. It all started with an exploding motorcycle. God used that event and the events that followed to open my heart and mind and to consider possibilities that I would had never given second thought previously. You see, before that event, I was stuck in the mind numbingness boredom of routine. Every day was the same. Then last night I drove to the airport at midnight to play a game of scrabble with someone who I had never met. We played and talked until 3:30 as she was waiting to check in for her flight.
That spontanaeity was a big part of myself that had been missing the last couple of years. I feel like before that I was trapped. Routine has a way of doing that to you. It’s safe. It feels comfortable. It’s predictable. And it’s dangerous. It closes you off from possibilities. You begin going through the motions of your life without first considering WHY you are doing them to begin with. I personally believe routine is a device the devil uses to keep us locked up.
The motorcycle incident was followed by an “almost relationship” that took me completely by surprise. She completely interrupted my usual routine. This was someone whom I would normally not consider dating but for some reason I gave her a chance. While it ultimately didn’t work out, it turned my world upside down for a couple weeks. This also coincided with all the snow days we had here in Seattle so we got to spend a lot of time together. I really got to know this person, even better than some of my good friends.
Then, I went to go see the movie “Yes, Man” with Jim Carrey. While some might view this as a throw away comedy, it was a golden nugget of wisdom for me. The basic premise is that he makes a pact to say ”yes” to every question that is posed to him. Obviously, this completely changes his life and predictably, he figures out that it’s not always good to say yes to EVERYTHING. Still, this movie challenged me because I know I don’t say yes often enough. Not only to others, but also to myself. I don’t give myself permission to be spontaneous because I rely too much on my web of routine.
It was 3:30 when I left her, the stranger at the airport. As I walked through the terminal on the way back to my car, I paused to watch the flight times flicker across the screen. “I could hop on a flight today and go anywhere in the world,” I thought to myself. The possibilities are endless. I stared at the screen a few minutes and made a conscious decision to walk back to my car. I’m still in Seattle, not because of some predictable pattern I’m stuck in, but by choice.
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